hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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