you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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