Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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