dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she looked like the before picture.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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