Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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