i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
