Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
