what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
