Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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