Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
