would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
