so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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