Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
me + whiskey = a bad person
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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