There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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