Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
