he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
