Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
