hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
This is classic penis vs brain.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
