This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
