This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
