I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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