Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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