WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
