Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
