I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
