carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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