I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
