You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
