If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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