you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
