thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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