I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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