I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
