ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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