saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The air was thick with penises
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I could fuck to npr.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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