just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
