So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
