U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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