I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
