This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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