the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
