Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i think im in europe. pls send help
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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