she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
