i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
