if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
