just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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