im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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