don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
