While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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