Are we in a gay sports bar?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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